I HAVE a confession to make. Ever since Scarlett Johansson waltzed down the London red carpet for the premiere of her flick The Other Boleyn Girl, I've been having fantasies. Fantasies about getting a tattoo. Because let's face it: if Scarlett, the doyenne of effortless chic who is bereft of all things naff is sporting some serious ink (even though it looks more like a rainbow cartoon drawn by a seven-year-old than an uber-sexy fashion accessory) it must be the new trend de jour.

Tattoos were once thought to be the domain of sailors, pirates, prisoners and freaks but, thanks to the latest markings sported by a horde of Hollywood "It" girls, they've quickly morphed from trashy to trendy. And I'm not the only one who thinks so. At least two of my friends are having tattoo fantasies of their own, though one is facing a small ink-related conundrum.

"My boyfriend says he'll dump me if I ever get a tattoo," my friend Elle tells me in a petulant voice. "Should I do it anyway?"

If Elle were to follow in Paris Hilton's footsteps, the answer would be a resounding "no". The heiress has reportedly refused to be inked since her boyfriend Benji Madden (who, by the way, sports a fully tattooed body, including one of the Virgin Mary) said he doesn't like tattoos on women.

"He is going to get one of me but he won't let me get one," purrs Paris. "He doesn't like tattoos on women. He thinks I look pure" (could have fooled us).

Madden's former fiance, Aussie bombshell Sophie Monk, wasn't about to let his opinions get in her way. Oh no. Instead of succumbing to his wishes, a defiant Sophie recently tattooed a noticeable "Monk" on the nape of her neck. Which doesn't seem like such a bad idea really, considering getting your own name minimises all the other catastrophes that can occur when it comes to permanently marking your body.

Take Britney Spears, who's certainly no stranger to catastrophes. She should have known better a while back when she opted for Japanese kanji symbol near her pelvic bone which she thought meant "mysterious". She later found out it translated to "strange". We'd expect a little more from Angelina Jolie, princess of all things ink-related (she sports 13 tats - that we know of), but she hasn't been immune to a mistake (or three) either. She recently confessed that after she "dropped her pants in a tattoo parlour in Amsterdam" she woke up in a water bed with "a funky-looking dragon with a blue tongue" on her hip. "I realised I made a mistake," she said, "so a few months later I got a cross to cover it." Of course that's not her only inking accident. While married to Billy Bob Thornton she lovingly had his name etched into her forearm, only to have it lasered off later and covered by a tattoo with the co-ordinates of the birthplaces of her children.

It was no surprise then that, while speaking to a Hollywood laser expert recently, he confided the top procedure he conducts for his A-list clients isn't lip-plumping or hair removal from odd places (although he assures me there's plenty of that going on, too) but removing tattoos. "Mostly it's the names of their ex-lovers," he says. "I don't know why they do it, with their track record of relationships. It doesn't make sense."

Perhaps Eva Longoria should have thought more carefully about getting husband Tony Parker's basketball jersey number (nine) tattooed on her neck. And maybe Amy Winehouse should have waited until her beau was out of jail before she put the word "Blake" above her breast. Oh, and there's no doubt in my mind that Benji Madden should wait at least more than three months before getting "Paris" inked anywhere on his body. Unless, of course, he has an affinity for the city. But, like most Hollywood trends, after a reality show follows (if you haven't watched Miami Ink on the Discovery Channel now I highly recommend you do), after Lindsay Lohan gets one and after Dr Phil does a show on them, what was once hip, edgy and individual quickly morphs into a mainstream item for the masses.

Take Pamela Anderson's once unique barbed wire armband which is now one of the most copied tattoos in the world. Or Nicole Richie's eponymous foot rosary tattoo that can be spotted on the ankles of wannabe women at nightclubs across Sydney. Even Victoria Beckham's five stars on her upper back that symbolise her family members have been blindly copied by Posh Spice aficionados across the globe thinking it's simply for decoration.

Like most crazes, they get old - and fast. Hence when Elle announced she was going ahead with a small tattoo of a rose on her hip, I advised her to get one done in henna first. "Why not test it out for a couple of days first?" I carefully suggested. So she did. Half-an-hour after getting it done she was ready to scrub it off. "It's ruining all my outfits," she wailed and then removed it. Luckily she could ...

Samantha Brett is an author, presenter and smh.com.au blogger. http://www.samanthabrett.com.

Source: The Sun-Herald